hbp-0007

Recovery from Addictions/Compulsive Behaviors - Where to begin? by the Rev. Deborah Adler There’s an old saying. "I got sick and tired of being sick and tired" - meaning, at some point everyone of us recognizes the writing on the walls and knows that there’s something wrong with this picture. What picture might that be, you may ask? The picture that shows us continuing to make the same destructive decisions, repeating the same destructive habits that put us into a seemingly eternal and inescapable continuous loop. "I hurt, so I’m going to use. When I use, I hurt. I hurt, so I’m going to use........................................................................................" and on, and on, and on...... It doesn’t mater what the "substance" of abuse is, or if it even involves a substance at all. There are addictive behavior patterns that are just as deadly to those living them out and to their loved ones, friends, or co-workers who must live with them. No matter what the "substance" or pattern is, the results are the same. Until we can admit that our addictions/compulsive behaviors are in charge of us, instead of we being in charge of them, there isn’t much that anyone can do to help. We continue to ride a roller coaster spiraling downward. The very things we do to "prove" that we are in fact in charge of our lives only serve to jeopardize us further. Don’t look for logic. The "logic" of the addicted/compulsive mind goes something like this: "I’m hurt. I’m not going to take responsibility for why I’m hurting, therefore I’m going to blame you." Now the path diverges at this point. For some, the "logic" continues as: "Therefore I’m going to hurt you." For others, the "logic" goes like this: "Therefore, I’m going to hurt myself in order to get back at you." Remember, I said not to look for logic. Trying to get inside the head of an addicted/compulsive person can put you in a tailspin. On the other hand, if you recognize any of what I just said as being familiar, or making sense - then it’s probably a good thing you’re reading this. Read on. Addictions/compulsive behaviors are cyclic. The cycle is a vicious one unless it’s broken. Breaking the cycle takes more than personal strength. It takes a "team" approach. That makes most addicted/compulsive people wince right there because we tend to be loners. Recovery groups are filled with loners who have learned to come together for a common purpose: getting healthy and staying healthy. Where do you begin? Had enough of the merry-go-round you’ve been riding? Or maybe you think it’s too soon. You’ve still got some time. You’re not as bad as so-and-so. Listen up. With that kind of attitude, you might as well go get a gun and one bullet and play Russian Roulette - because that’s what you’re doing with your life. If you know somebody who is "worse off" than you, go get some help for yourself, then take another look - if they’re still around. Chances are, your perspective will have changed. Don’t use anybody else as your measuring stick for how "bad" you think you are. The truth is in your gut and that’s where you have to go for it. If you think you’ve "had enough" - chances are, you’re ready to take on breaking the cycle. Call one of the self-help groups listed in your phone book. Don’t like groups? Call anyway. Go anyway. Face it. They have something you don’t right now. Wait till you’re healthy to condemn them - the longer you go, the more ammunition you can collect. Build a bigger case against them. (Of course, somewhere along the line, you just might find that they know that they’re talking about and that you want what they have.) Just go. Give it a try. What’s the worst that can happen? If you’re not happy with what they have to offer. I’m sure they’ll be willing to refund your misery. Twelve Step groups and self-help recovery groups are based on no one religion nor creed. There’s a group for every type of addiction and compulsive behavior, and within those perameters, there are meetings for every "subgroup" that could possibly exist." One of the primary principles for governing the groups is "Principles before personalities." Don’t believe that’s possible. Believe it. Everybody’s there for the same reason. To break the cycle and keep it broken. Don’t look for the differences. Look for the similarities. Realize that there are people there that have been where you have been, and worse. Listen. Learn. Get Healthy. It works....if you want it to. Bottom line....it’s your call.
Back to Hard Times and Broken People

YS was activated in Ohio in 1985.