Parenting |
| Parenting should take place only when a man and a woman have given serious consideration to what they are asking for. Parenting does not mean that you own this precious life that you are bringing into the world. It means that you are the caretakers of this wonderful new being. It means showing by example how to live a good life, and allowing the child to find its own way in the world. Ownership would play no part in parenting. Guidance, and nurturing, and a willingness to allow a child to live its own life and learn from its own adventure; this is the true goal of enlightened parenting.
As parents we are guardians. We must learn not to give children answers we don't have. Every child resonates to truth, and every word we say becomes a tape that the child will live. Children are like sponges for the first seven years of their life. We teach the children by making them a part of everything we do, not by filling the house with toys and entertainment.
Parenting As Man Was Given In The First WorldIn the course of events we must begin at the beginning. The "real beginning" is when we the Spirit accepts the service of messenger.
Our Altar/Body begins its process of developing. When complete and as agreed at Birth, we fill it with the Spirit of Intention, it now becomes The Messenger. The Spirit does not occupy the form until the Mother releases it. Bonding takes place in the realm of Spirit as the form is growing inside the mother. The unborn can learn a great deal of its world from its parents teaching at this stage. Whether it is focused sharing or not, the Child begins its Earth education while "in" the Mother, meaning within her Auric Field/Spirit.
When we send the children away, they do not have these rewarding experiences with us. Yet deep within their psychological make-up, the need still exists. So, at day-care or on the streets, they will find someone who can say, "Good job, be a part of us." As the years roll by and the parents consistently are unavailable, they turn to their friends for all their needs. If their friends have questionable activities, this does not stop them. They join the gang because in reality this is their family. As young children, they play with toy guns - as teenagers they use real weapons. They kill their own parents because their mothers and fathers have never really parented them. Our children don't know us. If questioned, they will admit that we don't mean a lot to them as parents. Using a few simple and practical parenting skills, we can teach our children to become productive, cooperative family members, right from the start. It's important first to realize that our children are much more capable than we give them credit for. By the age of 7, children have all the intelligence needed to be completely self-sufficient. It is our responsibility, as parents, to prepare our children and to teach them to hold responsibilities within the family from the moment they demonstrate the physical and mental coordination to do so. This is not to say we give them tasks that are beyond their capability, but to allow them to participate in the on-goingness of family life in a way they can learn cooperation, accomplishment and contribution.  For example, avoid giving a little child your best china when teaching them to set the table and wash the dishes. Something is bound to get broken! Provide non-breakable dishes for your children and give them the space they need to make mistakes and do re-takes.Look to very practical solutions when the need arises to discipline our young. In a situation where a child refuses to assist with preparation of a meal, reality will sink in really quickly if they are excluded from the meal. A hungry person will be likely to participate when the next meal is in preparation. Keep the household activities light, easy, and full of laughter. Chores can be made a playful activity for the family where everyone has fun and gets the work done at the same time! If a child decides to be obstinate or is looking for a fight, simply ask them to get control of themselves.  For instance, if there is a group of people in an activity such as cleaning snap beans and a child becomes disruptive, you can let them know their behavior is not acceptable, and that you do not allow attention to one to shift the focus of the whole. They can be given two alternatives: 1) They can gain control of themselves and fit into the activity of the whole or 2) they can move to another space and act out all they desire. This gives them the freedom to voice themselves and have the understanding that they as a person are not wrong. It is simply their behavior that needs to be changed to augment the group's activity. This creates the sense of belonging they need. There is a group whose activity has value which they are a part of. Let them know there is an area available for fighting if they wish, but it's not where everyone else is working. Sooner or later they will get bored with their attitude and rejoin the fun.If children choose to fight and be contrary, oversee so that no one gets hurt. If they spent their day contrary to what is needed for the on-going needs of daily living, and do not help with the meal, simply exclude them from the meal. Their rumbling tummies will encourage them to cooperate. Complainers can also be provided with their own space. Again, remove them from the activity about which they are complaining. After stewing in their own bitter sauce alone for a period, they are bound to return to happier activities with refreshed attitudes. The bottom line is, our children are capable, intelligent beings, and need to feel they are an integral part of the family. Including them in the ongoing daily needs of maintaining the household provides them with a sense of belonging and usefulness. When they are encouraged to participate they are given the opportunity to develop their natural skills and talents. They will look to their own family for nurturing and will be effective, successful family members. This is a true sense of well being and family. |
We are all the Chosen of Creator, else we would not exist. Now the message must have its medium, the form/Body/Altar and environment. (An Altar is where the expression of the Creator moves from.) We find the parents and begin to do "visitations". After a period of time, the connection is made. The Mother conceives.
Why are our young people running in gangs practicing destruction and violence? The answer is simple: we are pushing them out of the family, and into gangs, from the time we say to our children "Go out and play with your friends, I'm busy doing something important here." This totally isolates the child and they have nowhere to turn for the nurturing and sense of belonging that they naturally need other than with their peers. They are robbed of feeling like they belong and are part of the daily on-goingness of the family. As human beings we strive to feel like we are making a worthwhile contribution and that others will benefit from our activities. Have you ever looked into the eyes of a child that is allowed to assist in a "grown up" activity where they have to stretch to accomplish the task and make their contribution? It is beautiful. You see the hope of the whole world in their proud expression. "I did it, I can do this, I will make it just like you."
