So teens nowadays face all this, in addition to the usual concerns of their age group. Exactly how does this affect not only our teenagers, but also ourselves as parents?

As mothers and fathers today, many of us are not aware that we carry within us the genetic patterns and deeply imbedded habits of our ancestors, of the generations before us. And our young children and young adults also hold our genetic seeds. This includes all our idiosyncrasies, as well as our truths and values of life. That is not to say these patterns can’t be broken. Indeed, that is the goal . . . to break free of anything that prevents each of us from becoming all that we can be.

There is a popular native saying about being mindful of walking on those yet unborn in our Earth Mother, giving appreciation to those who have gone before us preparing the way, and offering blessings for the next seven generations.

As a mother of two beautiful teenage daughters, I am in awe of how close the bond can be between us, even from a distance. My nightmares tell me when my daughters are in trouble, and also when all is well again. Plagued by recurring, highly graphic nightmares warning me about my eldest daughter, I found myself entering into this danger zone with her. Perhaps it was my way of trying to reach out and protect her, or simply not being able to cope with the shock that she was no longer my innocent child; rather a young adult testing some very dangerous waters. Coupled with the frustration of not being able to reach her, I recognized a world of insanity. Feeling desperate, I prayed with all my heart for her safety. I realized the genetic ties that we shared, and saw my own patterns in what she was experiencing.

There is a saying that life is a cycle, which is a circle where all things return to where they began. As we take responsibility for our lives in accordance with the laws of cause and effect, we see that whatever energy we put out, comes back to us. So each of us needs to be mindful and very clear about the intent and purpose behind every thought, word and action we create. Thoughts are energy and reality. It is a choice we make as to how we intend to use our birth gifts i.e. those innate talents, skills and virtues that are unique to each one.

For example, when a teenager skips school to embark upon life’s journeys, they may feel free. In the long run however, think of the repercussions of such actions. What are they setting up for themselves as far as possible career choices, and how can they attain them without working towards these goals? Ah, goals. That’s it in a nutshell. What do they mean they don’t have any goals, that they don’t know what they want in life? Do they want to be happy, healthy, prosperous and successful? These are not only worthwhile goals, but also our inherent birthrights. So what are they doing to achieve them? Suggest that they set a monthly pattern of writing down what they desire in life, along with what they are willing to give away in the form of any habitual patterns preventing them from achieving their goals and being all they can be. Daily review of their goals, or as often as possible, creates an energy of focused intent. Positive affirmation in thoughts, words and actions will ensure that every step takes them closer to recognizing who they are and what they want to do in life.

Working at a career or project that brings joy, is not work. Interest and enjoyment in what they are doing in life is an important key to success. Choosing a course of study or advanced learning in subjects they find personally exciting is a vital step towards success in their chosen career. Education can open many doors, but only they can open their minds and hearts. As they learn to let their inner feelings guide them, they will listen, and follow their hearts.

What is it that prevents our youth from seeing the vast potential in themselves and what they can do in life? Many have not been given the nurturing and positive reinforcement in their self esteem. Most simply lack discipline. Doing what they want in life, in career or whatever, requires focused discipline. Discipline is taking personal responsibility for the outcome of their actions, and recognizing what is appropriate and acceptable behavior within the principles of society today. Walking around in life, oblivious to the concerns of others, solely intent upon their own little world, is in actual fact a very limited perspective, which will ultimately restrict their growth and hinder their advancement in many ways.

What can we do as parents to help our young adults become the best they can be? Listen. Pay attention. Teach them by example, by our own actions, and let them know they are loved. Nurture them. Offer them support and guidance. Help them identify their birth gifts and positive qualities, to embark upon life’s journey. Care, and show compassion. Remember, you were a teenager too. How often did you wish there was someone you could trust and rely on for guidance, or even just to be a “sounding board” for your creative ideas or when you were seeking answers to a problem, or deciding on an important course of action? Follow through with response to their behavior, that they may learn discipline, by being responsible for their actions. Help them to see the possible consequences that will result if one path is chosen over another. Show them the beauty in themselves and in all of life. Appreciation and respect are the keys to success.

• Listen
• Support
• Guidance
• Caring
• Pay Attention
• Love

• Nurture
• Compassion
• Affirm
• Beauty
• Respect
• Appreciate